I’m a huge fan of wasting time and acting like a total jerk, so I figured that title was fitting since this entire post will document parts of my life.
I recently had a horrible incident with my laptop (not to be confused with a horrible indecency with my laptop, much to my spellchecks chagrin) wherein the entire thing was destroyed. I was sitting there minding my own business when a friend of mine felt the need to pour two full glasses of wine on it. That’s probably a simplification of what happened but if you’ve ever lost a year of pictures and data you’ll understand.
Luckily babydaddy is feeling pretty good lately and sent me his old netbook so I can use my teeny tiny fingers to type on the teeny tiny keyboard and do things like check my faceyspacies and rant about stuff. His exact words were:
“It’s good for checking e-mail and surfing the web, and for girls who feel the need to hydrate their computers.”
I figure that’s probably the least he could do based on the fact that my belly-button ring hole is destroyed from bearing his child. Had he sent me a scalpel, some hydrogen peroxide and a disposal camera with a note that said “take care of that belly button monstrosity and send me the pics” I would have been just as grateful, but this is more useful to me.
One thing I’ve noticed about this computer is that the backspace button is fixed if you don’t hit it twice. This might actually be better for me since I tend to type things like “I fucked your Mom in the asshole with an eggbeater.” When what I really meant to say was “I fucked your Mom.” So the out of control backspacer takes care of all the useless words I didn’t really need. Turns out he may be more in tune with my needs than I ever imagined.
The emerging face of sarcasm
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