I just replied to an email with the phrase “invigorating to have complete strangers come to your home to be entertained.” Someone either is a stranger or isn’t a stranger. That’s like saying, “I can’t go out for drinks, I’m kinda pregnant.” You are or you’re not. Redo sentence.
Why are people so scared to drink wine out of regular glasses? I stopped putting out wine glasses when I host large groups of people because they kept getting broken, they’re annoying to load in the dishwasher, and they’re on the other side of the room from said dishwasher which is too far for me to travel back and forth a gazillion times to get them out and put them away. I direct people to the regular juice glasses, half of which are full size and half of which are…half size.
It never fails that the following occurs:
1. Someone asks where to find a glass for wine
2. I point at the juice glasses
3. He/she surveys the selection, hesitates, and raises his/her eyebrows
4. The hand inches up to the glasses, cautiously and pauses in mid-air
5. The eyes dart from the full-size ones to the half-size ones
6. He/she takes a half-size one
a. If no half-size glasses are left, he/she stands in front of the full-size glasses for no less than twenty-minutes, running through all the possible scenarios that may play out if a full-size glass is grabbed:
- Will be unable to control/monitor the amount of wine consumed and will be naked, singing “True Colors” within an hour
- Others will assume you’re an alcoholic and either stay far away because they don’t want to deal with that mess, or offer to be your sponsor
- The world will end because you’re doing something non-traditional
No comments:
Post a Comment