I mentioned my love for wine in my last post. But, I don’t think I emphasized it enough. The title of my post really says it all.
I have never really fully embraced wine until recently, even when I studied in Spain for 6 months where wine was plentiful and acceptable at all times of day. The reason for my increased wine consumption is not stress (thank goodness), but the fact that I am trying to fully embrace life, relax a whole lot more, and enjoy things. That’s my motto for 2010. Although I’ve always loved the taste of wine, I was afraid to drink it too much, mostly due to fear that people would judge me—judge me for drinking it, judge me for the way I acted when I had a little buzz, and, yes, judge me for when I drank way to much and couldn’t hold it in anymore (we’ve all had these times, I just had much, much less of them than most people around me). Alas, that whole perception and wanting acceptance thing rears its ugly head again.
I think it’s extremely sad that it’s taken me 30 years to realize that I need to have more fun and relax. In the past, I was always trying to live up to others’ expectations. I did what was expected of me and tried to be, to quote Mary Poppins (LOVE that movie!), ”practically perfect in every way.” To this day, I love it when my parents say that they’re proud of me. It’s reassuring. But, I’ve realized that I have to get that reassurance from myself sometimes. So, I have to do little things to edge myself in that direction. Once I get used to it, maybe it’ll become second nature.
And if I’m confessing my love for wine, I probably should confess that I probably had too much on Friday night. I, ahem, fell asleep playing my word scramble game on my iPhone and I woke up with a splitting headache. For once, I’m not embarrassed by it. It happens sometimes. And it doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop having a relaxing night with my husband and a bottle or two of wine.
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